Revenge is sweet like cookies
by Ireallywantthatpie
Summary: When Coop and Dennis once again sabotage one of Kat's virtual dates with his girlfriend, Kat decides to get even in a way that will haunt Coop forever... Oneshot. Cracfic.


Disclaimer: I don't own kid vs kat

* * *

"It's here!" Coop yelled, he and Dennis rejoicing as they held up a small rectangular box. "The all new Captain Blasteroid video game!"  
"With seventy percent more realistic effects!" Dennis quipped knowledgeably as he and Coop rather violently grabbed their gaming controllers. Milly, from the corner of the room, rolled her eyes, irritated at the lack of attention she was getting.  
"Dadd-eeeee!" she half whined/half screamed at her father, who was busy outside fixing one of the windows. "Mr Kat and I want some ice creeeeeeam!"  
Burt Burtonburger sighed as he tried to repair a shattered pane of glass. "Why don't you and Mr Kat (he said the name with a slight shudder; though he didn't know the feline's secret, his youngest child's pet still intimidated him) get some ice cream from the freezer? I'm sorry I can't take you to the store like I promised, but _someone," _he shot Coop an angry look through the window, but Coop ignored him. "Threw a box of fishy frisky bits through the window and blamed it on the cat." He shook his head. "I don't know why Coop's acting like this... it's been on and off for almost a year..."  
Milly ignored her father's mutterings about being a bad parent and began searching for her cherished pet.  
"Mr Ka-at!" she called happily. "Oh, Mr Kat! Daddy said we could get some ice cream... Where ARE you?" and she began stomping up the stairs to find her 'kitty'.  
Coop had tried to ignore his family, but on hearing about the absence of the evil cat, he set down his game controller and turned to Dennis.  
"Hmm," he said thoughtfully. "If I know that cat, he's up to something... Let's find out!"  
Dennis sighed and begrudgingly followed his friend. Why couldn't he EVER have a normal weekend?

* * *

"Meow?"  
"Meow!" Kat smiled amorously at the projection in front of him. After several weeks of workmanship on his near-decimated collar, he'd finally fixed it and was now conversing happily with his beloved girlfriend. The slender female cat lay elongated on something that was presumably her cat bed, playing with her tail absentmindedly as she meowed happily with Kat. After their last attempt at a virtual date (Coop's disastrous birthday party) Kat had gone to extra trouble to make sure there was no way Coop could ruin the date; he now sat in a lavish tunnel he'd dug under the Burtonburger's garden shed. Hidden conveniently under piles of heavy boxes, there was a slim chance of Coop finding the entrance to his tunnel.  
Well, so Kat thought.  
But as his girlfriend filled him in on a few memorable events in her life and meowed to him about how much she missed him, Kat heard horribly familiar voices from the shed above him.  
_"Do you think Kat's in here?"_ Dennis was saying in an exhausted tone of voice.  
_"I don't know." _Kat's paws clenched into tiny fists at the voice of his nemesis, Coop Burtonburger. _"But he's around here somewhere..."  
_Kat's girlfriend quietly meowed a question about whether or not that was Coop, and Kat nodded carefully. Maybe if he was silent, Coop wouldn't find him...  
Frozen, Kat's overly large ears listened for the boys. He heard them rummaging in the shed, a few scraping sounds, then silence. _Maybe they're gone._ He reasoned with himself, turning back to his waiting girlfriend.  
"Meow-" he began, but all too quickly, he found light streaming into his little cavern, and saw Coop's obnoxious face peering down at him.  
"FOUND HIM!" Coop yelled, grabbing the Kat, who scrabbled angrily. Quickly, he tried to meow goodbye to his girlfriend, but before he could Dennis plucked his collar from the hole, pressing the disc in the centre and causing the projection to be shut off. Kat growled with rage- how dare they spoil another one of his dates!  
Claws bared, he raised his paws to strike Coop who, sensing attack, dropped him.  
"What's that, Dennis?" he asked his friend, stepping across just as Kat lunged for his leg and sending the Kat skidding across an empty space.  
"I think it's his collar..." Dennis held the object up to the light. Kat growled at the duo, hissing and arching into the perfect pounce position. He sprang with another hiss, about to snatch up the collar, but Coop swiped it out the way.  
"Looks like he fixed it! Oh, well." With an evil grin, Coop dropped the accessory to the floor and stomped on it, sending a few sparks flying across the floor. Kat let out a mewl of despair and shot towards the remnants of his only means of communication with the girl-cat he loved, before bursting into a few cattish tears. Coop laughed arrogantly.  
"Well, looks like Kitty's plans have been ruined again," he taunted as he and Dennis headed for the door. "Come on, let's finish our game."  
Kat glared after them, his enormous black eyes burning with fury as he bared his fangs in a menacing grin. Oh, he would make that foolish human pay...

* * *

**_The next day..._**

Coop and Dennis were once again wasting their time on their beloved Captain Blasteroid video game. With Milly out the house on the much promised ice cream trip with her father, the boys had a whole Sunday of gaming ahead of them.  
Or so they thought. But unfortunately, the doorbell rang and muttering under his breath, he went to open it.  
"_Hiiiiiii Coop!"_ A shrill voice greeted him, and Coop jumped backwards with a scream.  
"PHOEBE!"  
The Hispanic girl gave him a terrifying smile as she invited herself into the house, carrying Honeyfluff in one arm and a mysterious piece of paper in the other. The latter she held on to while she unceremoniously dropped her overly fat white persian. Honeyfluff trundled over to Mr Kat who was watching with a sinister smile in the corner.  
"Meowrrrring?" she waddled curiously up to Mr Kat with a friendly mew. Without taking his eyes off Coop and Phoebe, Kat's back paw stuck out and kicked the fat show cat in the face, sending her flying across the room. Landing in the water-filled sink, she let out a sad meow and scampered off, leaving wet paw prints. Meanwhile, Phoebe was waltzing closer to Coop as he tried to back away from her, brandishing the suspicious piece of pink paper.  
"Oh, Coopy!" she cried. "I knew that you loved me as well!"  
"Wha-" Coop was about to protest when Phoebe unfolded the paper and shoved it in his face. It was a note, written in a perfect forgery of his handwriting.  
_Dear Phoebe-Weeby  
__You are a very beautiful girl and I would love to date you! Please come over to my house so we can eat heart shaped cookies together!  
__Love, Coopy Woopy  
_Coop stared at the note in absolute mortification and horror. He had NEVER written such a stupid thing in his life, yet it looked so much like his handwriting...  
"So, where are the cookies, my lovely sweetie pie?" Phoebe batted her eyelashes at him. Coop was frozen, mouth gaping open.  
"There are no cookies-" he began, but Phoebe cut him off with a squeal.  
"Oh, THERE they are!" she screeched in delight and bounded off to the kitchen. Coop followed her, only to let out a loud yelp: there were indeed heart shaped cookies- a whole tray of them, frosted in sickeningly-girly pink, eleven of them each with an individual letter on made of little candy hearts, arranged so that they spelled **_I LOVE_ _PHOEBE_**.  
Coop gulped in horror as Phoebe began sighing happily. Was this some kind of joke? Had Milly done this to embarrass him, or were Lorne and Harley pranking him? _But that's impossible..._ he thought to himself in confusion. _Milly left early this morning, and_ I_ would have seen Lorne and Harley...  
_"Oh Coo-oop!" Coop was pulled out of his train of thought at the sight of Phoebe approaching him, pink cookie crumbs all over her face. "Would my sweetheart like a little kiss?"  
Coop's expression twisted into one of sheer petrification as Phoebe applied a coat of pink lipgloss and puckered her large mouth.  
_Someone save me!_ He thought desperately as Phoebe's lips touched his face...  
"Coop?"  
Coop had never thought he'd be so happy to hear Milly's whiny voice. His sister barged into the house and Phoebe withdrew angrily.  
"Sorry, Cooper Dooper," she said dryly. "I guess we will have to meet again, somewhere private. Come on, Honeyfluff." She grabbed her cat and (squeezing Honeyfluff so tightly her eyes nearly bugged out) strode out angrily, shooting Milly a quick look with the dreaded 'Phoebe eye'.  
"Bye!" Coop called in relief, slamming the door behind Phoebe.  
"Hi, sport." Burt Burtonburger ruffled his son's hair as he walked into the kitchen, neither he or Milly noticing the lipstick mark on Coop's face. He wiped it off briskly, before turning to resume his game with Dennis...  
"Meeeyah-ha-ha-ha!" The sound of a cat-like cackle from the corner caught Coop's attention and he spun around quickly to see Kat doubled over in laughter, surrounded by a pad of pink paper, a box of cookie mix and one of Coop's past essays. For a moment, Coop was puzzled- why would Kat want that? Then it dawned on him, and his face reddened with anger...  
_He sent that note to Phoebe! HE made those cookies! _  
Several doors away, the neighbours still heard Coop's scream of rage.  
"**_KAT!_**"  
A few minutes later, a violent scuffle was ensuing in the dining room, one that only ceased when Milly rushed into the room.  
"You leave Mr Kat alone!" she screeched, grabbing her pet and crooning to it. "Aw, did that Nasty Coop hurt you? Come on- let's get you some fishy frisky bits!"  
Coop, covered head to toe in scratches, looked across at Dennis (who was still playing the video game as though nothing had happened) and sighed- he knew Milly would never believe him, and he still had a severely love sick Phoebe to deal with.  
"I'm going to get you for this, Kat." he growled under his breath.  
Kat, who was being carried over Milly's shoulder into the kitchen, stuck his tongue out at Coop.

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**What did you think? Please review! My first Kid vs Kat fanfic!**


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